A Servant's Heart

Today in (Personal) history

2011-04-23T10:46:00.002-05:00

Most years, April 23 has been a typical day on the calendar: special in its own way, but nothing noteworthy. Yet, more than any other date, today is the anniversary of painful events in my life.

Twenty-three years ago today would have been my wedding day had I not realized two month before that if I married this guy, I would end up either dead, in a hospital, or in a battered women’s shelter. That is not what I looked forward to in a marriage. I broke off the wedding and four years later, married someone else.

Last year, on this date, I found evidence of my husband’s affair. After a week of research, prayer, and the advice of wise friends, I confronted him and learned he had known her for two years.

I find it appropriate that this anniversary falls on the Saturday of Holy Week, the time between celebrating the Death of Christ on Good Friday, and His Resurrection on Easter Sunday. That is exactly what this day means in my life.

Although I broke off the relationship two months before the wedding, April 23 is a day that reminds me of the chapter in my life in which my Good Friday was followed by the Easter of freedom, recovery and growth. Likewise, the pain of learning of my husband’s betrayal has been the Good Friday of another chapter in my life in which God has used evil circumstances to draw me closer to Him. With each of these events, God has given me a new start, a New Life, and a better understanding of who He wants me to become.

Can God Forget?

2011-03-28T06:13:00.006-05:00

Hebrews 10:17 "And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more."

How can an all-knowing God forget our sins and iniquities?

As I lay in bed confessing my unforgiveness to certain people for certain things, the fact became obvious that in order to forgive, I must heal from the hurt of their actions, but in order to heal from the hurt, I must forgive. Somewhere in the cycle, I must choose to do both.

Sin greives God more than other people's actions and words greive us. Sin so greives God that He cannot stand to be in its presence. Yet He loves us and wants us to be in fellowship with Him. For this reason, He sent His Son to pay for our sins, to wash them white with His Blood.

It is when we confess our sins and fall under the umbrella of Christ's Blood that God will choose to not remember our sins and iniquities, to not hold them against us. The price for these sins has been paid through His Love, His Sacriface through His Son.

Eternal Salvation is available the first time we confess and ask God to be the center of our lives. Sanctification comes on a daily, sometimes minute-by-minute basis as we recognize our sins and confess them, turning from them to live our lives God's way rather than our own. It is then that God "remembers them no more."

Please go to Vonnie's blog at My Back Door to read more Monday Manna entries. Every Monday, either Vonnie or Joanne will host as we all share our thoughts on a verse posted on Thursday.

Letters to the Tooth Fairy

2011-03-18T06:31:00.003-05:00

Welcome to Friday Fiction. Joanne is hosting at An Open Book, so after reading mine, go to her blog for more great fiction. This story is based on letters to and from my son.

Dear Tooth Fairy,
Tomorrow is Easter. If you run into the Easter Bunny, will I get candy money for my tooth?
Bobby

Dear Bobby,
The Easter Bunny and I are good friends, but I disagree with him giving so much candy to children. I left you real money.
The Tooth Fairy

Dear Tooth Fairy,
Why do you collect teeth? Bobby

Dear Bobby,
Why do you collect bookmarks?
The Tooth Fairy

Dear Tooth Fairy,
What is your real name? Bobby

Dear Bobby,
My real name is Latin. It is Dentis Mediocris, but my friends all call me Tooth Fairy. Remember to brush your teeth twice a day.
Dentis Mediocris (The Tooth Fairy)

Dear Tooth Fairy,
What do you do with all the teeth you collect? Bobby

Dear Bobby,
I don’t usually answer this question, but since you are into science, I think you will understand. I work for a scientist with the Dental Association. We use the teeth I collect to help dentists learn how to better help you keep your teeth healthy. Keep brushing and flossing!
The Tooth Fairy

Dear Easter Bunny,
Please bring me a new tooth brush with my candy. Thanks. Bobby

The Healing Begins

2011-03-07T19:23:00.006-06:00

The purpose of Monday Manna to get together and get to know Christ more through His Word. Each Thursday, a Bible verse to ponder will be posted, either at JoAnne's blog An Open Book, or at Vonnie's blog, My Back Door. The following Monday, those participating will post their thoughts on the verse at their own blogs and link up at the bottom of the post in the Linky gadget. The main purpose is to chew on the same Scripture and learn from one another. After reading my post, please go to An Open Door and read the other Monday Manna entries. Feel free to join the fun.

Here's this week's verse.

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. Romans 8:26 NIV

I experienced a time this summer where I could not pray. I knew that the knowldedge I had just gained, the confrontation ahead of me would change my life forever. I did not know how to pray, to even express what I was feeling. Did I want this change? Was it for the best? I knew I could no longer ignore the inevitable.

As I lay in bed in the wee hours of the morning, trying to pray, too hurt to even groan, two lines of a song kept going through my head. I could not think of any other words of the chorus, let alone any of the verses. When I got in my van to go to work the next morning, the radio was playing that same song, and I turned it on as those two lines played. "This is where the healing starts, this is where the healing begins." I knew that song was God's answer to my prayer that I was unable to pray.

2011-02-28T06:11:00.005-06:00

"Thou hast enlarged my steps under me,
that my feet did not slip."
Psalm 18:36 (KJV)

Someone recently explianed to me the difference in types of martial arts. While karate and Tae Kwon Do are about kicking and blocking, but Judo is about having a firm stance and using the opponent's momentum against them. He continued by saying that in the 6 months that he has known me, he has seen me move from cowering in a corner to taking a Judo stance in facing painful situaiton.

This change is not of my own doing. It is my dependence on God during this time of trial that he is witnessing. As I rely more and more on Him, I have grown in many ways, and having a firm stance, enlarged steps that my feet will not slip, is only evidence of His Grace and Mercy towards me.

After leaving a comment, please go to Vonnie's blog, My Back Door, and read other Monday Manna blogs.

"Come Talk to Me"

2011-02-21T00:01:00.004-06:00

The purpose of Monday Manna to get together and get to know Christ more through His Word. The main purpose is to chew on the same Scripture and learn from one another. This week's verse is:

My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.” And my
heart responds,“Lord, I am coming.” Psalm 27:8 (NLT)

But my heart and my actions do not always follow this desire. I have often lamented that I do not spend the time with God that I desire to spend with Him, the time that I know I should spend with Him. I go through spurts where I either read my Bible and neglect to pray, or I pray and neglect to read my Bible.

I remember lamenting about this in small group once and the group leader told me that he viewed me as the type of person that lived with God as the focus of my life constantly and to not worry that I was not finding a set time of my day to spend with God. After all, my husband traveled four days of every week and I had two elementary boys at home. While I appreciated the compliment of how he viewed my spiritual walk, and I do desire for that to be true, I really did not and do not believe it can be without spending time in the Word.

Nor do I believe that it is possible without an active prayer life. In discussing our lack in the area of Spiritual Disciplines, another friend told me that another co-worker and I had been instrumental in her life in that we taught her that you a can pray anywhere, as she walked for exercise, as she drove a van full of preschoolers, doing housework While I feel this is an important part of my prayer life, an important part of my relationship with Him, an expression of intimacy with my Savior, I still desire a longer, unadulterated time with Him on a more regular basis.

Many times we tell people that we are praying for them, but then forget. We get so caught up in our own lives, our busy schedules. I have stopped telling my friends, especially online, that I am praying for their prayer concerns because I know that most of them I will forget to pray for. I pray for them when I read the concern but that may be the only time I pray for them or that concern. My friend Tammy recently posted about this on her Facebook status. She wrote:

“OK.... here is the skinny. From now on, if you ask us on FB
to pray.... I am gonna pray ON FACEBOOK for you! too many of us say "praying" and are we? Most likely not. So, I challenge each of you, if you say you are gonna pray.... PRAY... Where two or more are gathered!!”

I felt convicted by this because, like I said, I typically pray silently when I read the request, but forget to afterwards.

My heart would like to respond, “Lord, I am coming” but it does not always come. I have not yet arrived at a place in my spiritual walk where I can say that I consistently live my life in such a way that God is always at the center of my focus. But I do so welcome the invitation from God to “Come and talk with me.”

Please go to Joanne's blog An Open Book to read other Monday Manna entries.

Love is Not Selfish

2011-02-14T06:10:00.006-06:00

"Be devoted to one another in brotherly love, Honor one another above yourselves" Romans 12:10

Going through a divorce has caused me to look more intently at myself in many areas, including my obedience to his verse. Am I really as self-centered and neglegent of others as my ex-husband says I am? Unfortunately, in many ways, I am. It is human nature, and with out God's help and a conscience effort to the contrary, I can be nothing else.

A broken marriage has tested my devotion to many things -- God, values, husband, kids. I do not always past these tests, but I am learning to lean on God which makes the rest of them easier (possible) as well.

Single parenting has taught me what it really means to "Honor one another above yourselves." I cannot encourage my sons to have a healthy relationship with their father if I am not honoring him in what I say about him. I cannot teach them to respect him if I am being disrespectful towards him.

Single parenting has also taught me a lot about self-sacrafice, about putting my sons above myself. It would be easy to take the attitude that they are now teens and can do a lot for themselves. After all, I am going to school and working to pay the bills. But I am not called to merely provide for them. I am called to love them, to raise them to be Christ-like. This takes self-sacrafice towards them and more importantly, towards Christ.

God can and does use the trials in our lives to help us grow, to help us to be more like Him. Showing His love to others is one way that He is working in my life through my circumstances.

Thanks for reading! Be sure to stop by Vonnie's blog for more Monday Manna - and to link up your own thoughts on this verse!

Running from the Egyptians

2011-02-07T00:01:00.003-06:00

Welcome to Monday Manna. The purpose of Monday Manna to get together and get to know Christ more through His Word. After reading my entry, make sure you go to Joanne’s blog An Open Book and read other entries as well. This week’s verse comes from Exodus 14:13-14 as the Israelites saw the Egyptians coming after them.

Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:13-14

I have verse 14, “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still,” posted in my cubicle at work. It is one of those verses that God showed me at a time that I needed it, and one that He redirects me to when I forget.

We all have Egyptians chasing us into the deserts of our lives, perhaps wanting to us to return to the slavery of addiction or sin. For some of us, the Egyptians are our financial situation in a bankrupt economy. For others it may be a rebellious teenager or a medical issue. Whatever your Egyptians are, God tells us to not be afraid.

Easier said than done, right? We may know in our heads that God says “Do not be afraid” or “Do not fear” over 100 times in the Bible, telling us not to fear various things approximately 365 times. Yet that knowledge alone does not take away our fears.

In my own life, I find that my fears may diminish in talking to a friend, but they only really dissipate when I focus on the Promises of God. Two such Promises are given in this passage. “Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today.” And “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

The current desert in my life has consumed the last 6 months, and I am still in the middle of the desert. There have been times when I want to throw in the towel and give up. One morning I cried out to God and told Him I could not do this anymore. Immediately He brought to my mind Philippians 4:13; “I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.” As I got to work, God directed my eyes to the index card on my cubicle wall with Exodus 14:14. The theme that God is with me in the hard times was emphasized that day in the “Life Verse” for the Christian radio station I listen to, the daily devotional I get by email, verses sent to me by a friend, and in other verses I saw and heard that day.

Regardless of what Egyptians are in your life, God will help you through the desert. “Do not fear” is possible with the Peace of God that comes from Standing on the Promises.

2010-08-06T16:37:00.004-05:00

Welcome to Friday Fiction! Sharlyn is hosting today at Dancin'on Rainbows. Head on over to read more great fiction, or to add your own fiction to the the list

When my oldest child was a toddler, he would ask for his favorite soda pop by asking if he could have some "root beard." I would tease him that someday I was going to write a series of stories about a pirate that liked to drink root beer. When I started to write the story, Root Beard turned out to be a toy bear that loved to play dress up and loved root beer. I hope you enjoy the first story of the toys in Angie's playroom which my boys helped me to write.

Root Beard the Pirate
© 2009 Joanney Uthe, Gregory & Simon Miller

Dolly and Baby Doll, fresh out of tea, poured root beer at their tea party just as Root Beer Bear and Meow the Cat donned their pirate gear and set sail with the toybox as their ship. Root Beard the Pirate loved root beer more than any treasure buried on any forgotten island. He could smell it a mile away and didn’t care whose it was or how he got it. Root beer was his favorite and he was going to have some.

Sailing around behind the dolls, the two pirates planned their attack.

“Would you like some pie, Baby Doll?” asked Dolly as she rose to get some.

"Yes, I will help you get it.”

“With the dolls in the kitchen, this will be even easier than we thought,” said Root Beard to his matey. “You grab the cans while I finish off the cups.”

“Meow,” answered the cat.

“Where is our root beer?” asked Baby Doll when they came back with the pie. “It was here a minute ago.”

“Maybe Root Beer Bear stole it,” answered an angry Dolly.

“BINGO!” they heard a voice say. It was Root Beer Bear as he sailed away on his toychest ship.

“You…You pirates, you!” cried the dolls.

“That’s Root Beard to you!” responded Root Beer Bear. “We have come to plunder your root beer.”

“Meow,” agreed his matey.

***

“Land-ho” shouted Root Beard as they approached an inland. “We land here and seek our treasure.”

“Look, newcomers!” Dolly and Baby Doll hurried towards the pirate ship.

“Does this island have any root beer on it?” demanded Root Beard.

“Oh, yes!” replied Baby Doll, pointing east. “There is a whole lake of it.”

With that, Root Beard and his matey set off to the east. They got to the lake, really a punch bowl set on the floor of the playroom, and took a drink. “Yuk!” exclaimed Root Beard. “This is not fresh root beer. It is all sandy!”

“Meow!” agreed his matey.

“That’s because we dumped sand in the root beer,” said Dolly’s familiar voice behind them.

“Why’d you do that?” asked Mother Dog, returning from walking her puppies.

“Because we were having a tea party with root beer instead of tea and these pirates stole our root beer.” Baby Doll’s tears made it hard for her to finish.

“We would have shared with them if they had asked, but since they stole it, we got angry and ruined Root Beer Bear and Meow’s root beer.” Dolly finished.

“I see. Is this all the root beer that is left in the playroom?” Mother Dog often acted like a mother to all the toys.

“No, there is one can left. That one is yours.” Dolly handed her the last can of root beer, holding it as far away from Root Beer Bear and Meow as possible.

“Well, then, let’s all enjoy this can of root beer and be friends again.” Mother Dog lead her puppies, the dolls and the pirates to the playroom table where Dolly and Baby Doll still had their tea party set up. “And perhaps we can learn a little something about sharing.”

The Pain I'm Feeling

2010-08-02T21:08:00.003-05:00

Welcome to Monday Manna. On the First and Fourth Monday’s of each month, we focus on one Bible verse that Joanne posts on the previous Thursday. Our contributions can be just a few thoughts, a picture you feel helps express it, a poem, a short story, a devotional. After reading mine, go on over to Joanne’s blog, An Open Book, read hers and then click the links at the bottom to the other participants.

This week’s verse is Psalm 72:18:
Blessed be the Lord God, the God of Israel, who only does wondrous things! (NKJ)

I often have the radio on at my desk or while driving without really listening to it. But there are times when God just draws my attention to a certain phrase during a teaching or a certain song every time that song plays. Lately, that has been happening with a song by Josh Wilson. God is constantly reminding me that “life is not a snapshot” and He will use this time of pain to bring greater joy in the end.

Non-Fiction Convert

2010-07-21T16:30:00.005-05:00

I once heard the opinion that everyone should read at least one non-fiction book every month or whatever time period the opinionate person felt necessary (I don’t honestly remember how often it was.) As a result, I made a New Year’s Resolution to read a chapter of non-fiction every day. I did very well with that for as long as it lasted … about January 3. I love to read and I love to learn, but for the most part, I find non-fiction to be boring. As I get ready to go back to school, I envision hours of reading non-fiction textbooks.

Elementary teachers and experienced parents alike will tell you that to get a child to read, introduce them to books that interest them. For some, that means only reading books about horses, or knights fighting dragons, or princesses, or sports. My youngest son checked out every non-fiction book the local library had on medieval history, later moving to books on WWII. My oldest reads every Sci-Fi book he could get his hands on. The same concept applies to reading non-fiction.

When I was pregnant and when my boys were young, I read a lot of books on pregnancy and parenting. Thankfully, I did not need to use all of the information that I read, like warning signs that a child is developing meningitis, but the information was important to me at that stage of my life. When my mom was diagnosed with a genetic heart condition in which Mayo Clinic told her to have all of her siblings and offspring tested, I read a lot about Idiopathic hypertrophic subaortic stenosis (IHSS). In the last few months, I have read more non-fiction than I have fiction in order to learn more about a situation in my life. As I look at the text books that I have bought for Fall Semester, I feel anticipation rather than dread.

Just as our reading habits with both fiction and non-fiction reflect our interests, so does our level of discipline in reading Scripture. There have been times in my life when reading Scripture was a chore that may or may not get done. But as I grew in my relationship with Christ, it has become a joy. My level of enjoyment in the Word is a spiritual barometer of my relationship with my Savior. When my eyes are on myself, I tend to dread and put off reading the Word. When my life is Christ-focused, I cannot get enough of the Word. At times like these, my structured Bible Study lessons (like BSF) become like when my son got a low grade in English because he did not do the assignments before reading further in the book. It is hard to pull out the clues in a mystery if you cannot put down the book long enough to write them down before you know where they lead.

Reading non-fiction makes for a well-rounded, intelligent person. Especially when that non-fiction is the Greatest Book Ever Written, the very Word of Truth Himself. And when we really get into the Word, there is nothing boring about it.

Procrastinator's Club: Cardholding Member

2010-07-20T16:50:00.002-05:00

A friend posted the following as her status on Facebook: “I don't know if there is such a thing, but I am a member of the procrasinator's club. Can anyone relate?” I have seen similar threads on Facebook and on the forum that I frequent, with various fun answers.

 I thought about joining, but put it off.
 Your membership dues are late
 When is our next meeting? I think we should put it off for a few more days, don't you?
 Yeah I still have the application lying on my kitchen table... One of these days....
 I was going to, but then I thought of something else to do first
 I haven't had the time to get around to it yet. I'll try to squeeze it in....
 I'll join when all the flowers in this vase are wilted... (*Places a vase of fake flowers on the table*)

While it is fun to joke about procrastination, for some of us, it can get us into serious trouble. I am by no means an expert on how to overcome procrastination, but I do recognize a few things in myself in this area.

I tend to procrastinate on some things and not others. I can find all sorts of reasons to procrastinate on housework, yet find plenty of time to communicate with friends via the computer. I can clean a room that I want to start using in a different way, when the most commonly used room in the house needs to be cleaned also. This selective procrastination is proof of Jesus’ words in Matthew 6:21 and Luke 12:34, “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” So, where really is my heart? Are my priorities in order? Do my actions match what I say is important to me?

When I find myself procrastinating on things that I claim are important to me, I need to realign my priorities. For the most part, the key is motivation. I need to find within myself the motivation to do the things I want to do. Someone once asked me which came first, motivation or action. I found it an interesting question because one needs motivation to take action but once started, the progress itself is motivation to keep going and to finish. The person who had asked me said that his psychology classes taught that motivation comes from the action. People are motivated once they start. In order to get motivation to do something, one must first start it. I am not sure I totally agree with that. As a cardholding member of the procrastinator’s club, I need motivation to start. Yet I have often found the very concept of action creating motivation to be the motivation that I need. I can convince myself that by simply starting, I will gain the motivation I need to continue and to finish.

While housework and other tasks are important in the here and now, there is one area that it is extremely important to not procrastinate, our spiritual life. When my kids mention dying, I remind them that we will all die unless Jesus comes back first. The thing is, none of us know which will happen first or when. We may have a few decades or a few minutes left on this earth. Are we prepared for what comes after, whether in death or in His Second Coming?

For those of us who do know Him as our personal Friend and Savoir, how often do we spend time talking with and listening to Him? Can we really consider Him to be Lord of our lives if we never converse with Him, never seek His Wisdom in our everyday circumstances? If we never read His Word? Can we consider Him our friend if we never talk to Him? These are the areas in which I never again want to find myself procrastinating.

I have to go. I have housework to do and dinner to make...

Monday Manna for July 19 -- He is Near

2010-07-19T00:01:00.002-05:00

This is my first time joining in on Monday Manna. The purpose of Monday Manna is to get together and get to know Christ more through His Word. Please visit Joanne Sher's blog at An Open Book to read more on Monday Manna entries. This week's verse is Psalm 34:18.

The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart,
And saves such as have a contrite spirit. Psalm 34:18 NKJV

Last Halloween my friend’s husband left her and their two sons to move in with his girlfriend. She was devastated and angry. As I watched her through the next several months, I saw a wonderful strength in my friend that she had not had before. She was learning to depend on God in a new way: her faith was becoming more real and more personal.

About six months later I entered a personal crisis in my own life. Nothing I had ever experienced prepared me for the level of pain brought about by that crisis. I now know why they use the expression of ripping out one’s heart.

Like my friend, I learned to lean on the only One with all of the answers. Yes, there are a few good friends who have walked me through the worst of the pain, but ultimately, it was God’s wisdom in these woman that brought comfort.

My prayers have changed from a list of praises and requests to pouring my heart out to God. All of my confusion, hurt, and anger in the situation, I discuss with Him and lay at His feet. He is the source of my strength, my comfort, my perseverance to endure. He has become my Lifeline.

I still turn to my core group of friends, perhaps more than I should. But ultimately, even their input pales to the peace that envelopes me when I lean on my Savior.

Humble Circumstances

2010-05-31T22:51:00.003-05:00

The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position. But the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, because he will pass away like a wild flower.

James 1:9-10

I grew up on the wrong side of town -- if a town of 750 people can have a right or wrong side. Although I won't say anyone in our town was rich, the railroad tracks basically divided the haves and the have-nots and we lived on the wrong side of the tracks. My parents struggled to keep food on the table for their eleven children, even with a huge garden, food stamps and a business that allowed them to buy food at wholesale prices. We were poor and the entire town, perhaps the entire county, knew it.

Yet I remember as a kid thinking that while I was not good enough for most of my classmates, I was still better than certain families in town. At least my parents worked to put food on the table and our family didn't need Special Ed for any, let alone most of our kids.

I am pretty sure this is not the kind of pride in humble circumstances that James is recommending in his letter. When we compare ourselves to others, we will always find someone to make us look good and someone to make us look bad. Our standard needs to be set higher than other people -- it needs to be Christ.

Human interpretation of what is a high or low position does not match God's. We tend to look at circumstances, actions and other outward appearances, but God looks at the heart.

We have all experienced circumstances where we may wonder where is God in this. Sometimes I can even convince others that I am humbly walking with God through the difficult times, when in reality, my pride is preventing me from doing so. Yet, in each of these circumstances, I know that God still walks beside me, holding me up. It is when I rely fully on Him that I am truly in the high position of true humility.

Heavenly Father, help me to be humble in all things, whether the world sees me as in a high position or a low position. I know that my worth comes solely from You and Your Son's sacrifice on the Cross. I want to live my life in a way that points to You and not to me. Help me to be a witness to all those around me by my life. I pray this in the name of Your Precious Son, my Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.

2009-07-17T00:59:00.002-05:00

Welcome to Friday Fiction! Sara is hosting today at Fiction Fusion. Head on over to read more great fiction, or to add your own fiction to the the list.

This story was written as a writing assignment on a writers' weekend on the North Shore of Lake Superior in northern Minnesota. Notice that the letter "a" is not used anywhere in the story. That was the challenge of the assignment and a great way to practice word choice.

CURFEW IGNORED© 2007 Joanney Uthe

The little green building sits serene, hidden in the trees on the shore. Only the sound of moving liquid interrupts the thoughts of the only non-sleeping resident. Tired from the night’s enduring encounter, she sips her hot coffee, seeking the solution to the problem still lingering. Should she confront the child who refused to obey curfew once more? Does the emergency room visit drive home the point in his stubborn pride? Would her words only serve to drive him further from her?

The ship on the horizon blows its horn, interrupting her thought, reminding her of his first ride on the pontoon. Only five, he bounced on his uncle’s knee, helping to drive the vessel. Swimming off the dock would follow the next evening. Monthly visits to the Superior resort deepened his love for his uncle, for this hidden respite. When, over the time of his young life, did his love for dihydrogen monoxide become his tool for torture of his mother? Where did she not succeed in getting him to know her love for him?

When the door behind her opened, she turned to see the object of her musings. Eyes shut to slits, one bruised from the night before, he hugged her gently. “Sorry, Mom, for the fright. I didn’t know the rocks would be so slippery. I envisioned this weekend to be perfect, to show you I desire to do better. Didn’t intend to go to the emergency room.”

“So, who is this? Where is my son? Why the pre-written discussion?”

“I’m serious, Mom. I do intend to do better. It sounds pre-written, ‘cuz I thought through my words before coming out here.”

“Better. Right. How much better did you do in the two weeks since you told me you were done ignoring curfew? Where did you meet the girl you were with? The one who phoned for help?” Trying not to cry or to yell, she kept her voice quiet.

“I would’ve been here by curfew, but some girl fell on the rocks by where I left my truck. I helped her, but I slipped myself. I couldn’t find something to hold onto to. Unlike the girl who didn’t get wet, I went in the sound. She is the one who phoned for help. I never met her before helping her.”

His story mirrored the one the girl recited the night before in the emergency room. She knew she should let go of her ever-tight hold on his life. He would be finishing High School next spring, then off to the University. Yet, thinking of loosing him brought memories of the loss of every guy who’d been in his life. Jim never knew his pop who’d died before Jim turned two. Now his only uncle, the one who owned this resort, lie buried in the ground. He’d been Jim’s role model for most of his young life. Where would he turn now when he needed help? Who would believe him if she didn’t.

“Sorry for thinking the worst. I’ve never been so frightened in my life, Jim. I thought I might loose you. We just lost Uncle Bob. Kind of lost my mind, I guess.” She returned his hug. “I love you, Son.”

“I know, Mom. In the bed in the emergency room, I worried you would be worried. Sounds funny, doesn’t it? I’m so sorry for hurting you, Mom.”

“You’re forgiven, Son. So, how ‘bout some muffins?”

“Sounds good. I’ll get the mix.” Jim stopped when he got to the door. “Mom, will they need to sell the resort with Uncle Bob gone? He’s no wife or kids to inherit it. Whose job would it be if they do sell? Poppy couldn’t do it from the nursing home. You’re his only sibling. Would you be the one to sell it?”

“I don’t know.” She’d pondered the question herself but being too tired from buying the coffin, informing his friends, etc, she didn’t expend too much energy on it.

“I don’t think this incident should define our goodbye memories of the resort. Let’s enjoy the rest of our time here.” Jim held the door open for her.

“I hope this trip isn’t goodbye to the resort. But I think you’re right. Let’s enjoy our time. Together.”

Friday Fiction: Prostitute Provisions

2009-07-10T00:28:00.004-05:00

Welcome to Friday Fiction! Catrina is hosting today at A Work in Progress. Head on over to read more great fiction, or to add your own fiction to the the list.

This is my first time participating in Friday Fiction. Since Cathy used her entry from "Every Cloud has a Silver Lining" I decided to do the same. It didn't win an EC, but it was the closest I've come. (I think it placed 12th overall and 5th in Advanced.) I had made a few changes to the story that hopefully are improvements.

PROSTITUTE PROVISIONS
© Joanney Uthe

"Time to go to sleep, Obed."

"Please, Grandmother. Just one more story. Tell me about when you lived in Jericho. When you met the spies."

"Only if you promise to go to sleep afterwards." After receiving the promise, Grandmother began her story:

I was young when my parents gave me to the temple, forced to choose between child sacrifice and prostitution. There were days I wished they’d chosen differently. I hated my job from the very beginning, but it was part of our religion. We didn’t know the true God like your people do. Men worshipped our gods by using prostitutes like me.

Men can feel very vulnerable and need someone they can share feelings with. Listening to their fears and worries was part of the job. Often I only pretended to listen. But then they started telling stories about a strange people who didn’t have a land of their own. Of course, we all believed that a people without a land must have a very small, weak god. But oh... the stories that these men told disputed that belief.

I began listening intently to their stories, increasingly interested in these people who had been wandering in the desert since before I was born. People without a land who had defeated the mightiest kings of the Amorites. Our city was undefeated in battle, yet the stories of these people made even our bravest soldiers tremble.

We heard rumor that these people believed their God was going to give them a land – ours. Everyone became frightened. People became suspicious of all strangers. Yet the more I heard, the more I wanted to know about these people’s God. Could their God, who wanted to give them our land, hear me even if they were not yet here? I began praying to this unknown God.

As discontentment with my job increased, so did my desire to learn more about these strange, feared people. I no longer believed in the teachings of the temple that employed me. I couldn’t explain it, but somehow I knew that the gods of my people weren’t real gods. Everything about these gods was wrong, especially the prostitution. But what could I do? I continued to pray to the God of the desert wanderers.

One day two Israelite spies came to my door. Fear within the city dictated that I refuse to open the door, except that I was a temple prostitute. If they wanted to worship our gods, I must oblige. I wanted to turn them away, but a voice told me to let them in, to take care of them, even to hide them from the authorities. I turned to see who had spoken. No one was there.

My heart was pounding almost as loud as their knock. When I summoned up the courage to open it, I noticed a man following them at a distance, watching where they went. I knew the man, a temple regular, would report these men to the city officials. I had to act quickly to protect them. After feeding them, I led them to the roof of my house. The musty smell permeated my nostrils as I covered them with drying flax. I prayed to their God that they would not sneeze if anyone came searching.

I brushed the dust off myself when another knock came to my door. I’m sure the neighbors thought that these calls were related to my temple work, that the gods would be pleased. But I only wanted to please one God – the God of the Israelites. I had concluded that it was His voice I heard directing me in what I should do. The voice telling me not to worry about what to say to the soldiers at my door and that I would be calm during the conversation.

When the soldiers asked about the Israelite spies, my calm words surprised even myself. “Yes, the men came to me, but I did not know where they had come from. At dusk, when it was time to close the city gate, the men left. I don’t know which way they went. Go after them quickly. You may catch up with them.*” It worked. The soldiers left the city looking for the spies. Before the men turned in for the night, I had them promise that when they attacked Jericho, they would spare me and my family.

You see, Obed, God used my job as a prostitute to prepare me to be open to Him and His people so that He could use me in giving them this land. This is how I met your grandfather.

"So I an not a true Israelite?"

"You are an Isrealite in God's eyes because you are an Israelite in your heart. Your mother, Ruth, was not originally an Israelite, either and I don't know of anyone who doubts her loyalty to our people."

"Tell me that story, too. Please, Grandmother."

"Another time, Obed."

Story based on Joshua 2
*Joshua 2:4-5
The story of Ruth and Boaz can be found in the Old Testament book of Ruth.

You May Be From Minnesota if......

2009-01-15T22:22:00.001-06:00

We have all read lists about being from some region or another. Here is a list that I have put together based on things that I have actually experienced while living in Minnesota.

*You wake up to your alarm clock saying that the warm spot in the state is Faribault at 21 below.

*The radio announces that we have now had over 100 consecutive hours of sub-zero temps.

*The television news reminds the public that even though temperatures are now above zero, it is still cold and you need to wear gloves or mittens while pumping gas.

* The governor cancels all public schools because of the dangerously cold temps and wind chills, only to have his daughter sulk because her school had not (yet) canceled and he couldn't control whether or not private schools held classes. (Same day as the state high being -21)

* You remember the Halloween Blizzard of 1991 (36 inches) and the Thanksgiving Blizzard the same year (24 inches.)

* You know what "Black Ice" is and at what temperature exhaust fumes freeze.

* School is two hours late because of the dangerously cold temperatures and even though it is 20 below when the bus picks up your kids, the school needs to remind the Middle Schoolers to wear coats. (This happened today.)

* Your elementary schools have a policy stating at what temperatures the kids will automatically have indoor recess.

* You see kids/teens in shorts walking into a store while the outside temps are sub-zero.

* Your driver's education included taking the car to a vacant parking lot in the winter. (Okay, I did not actually experience this myself, but know many people who taught their kids this way or were taught this way.)

Chirst In Me

2009-01-14T06:33:00.003-06:00

Jesus answered: “Don't you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? John 14:9

When I started my new job last October I was somewhat shocked at the reality of spending eight hours a day in a non-Christian environment. It did not take me long to realize that my co-workers were part of the "unbelieving and perverse generation." Although I did not feel that I was, I prayed that I could be a light in the darkness of my part of the office.

Some of the anti-Christian comments made by my co-workers have made me hesitant to openly speak of my faith, so I often question if I showing Christ to my co-workers at all. I have noticed a very slight difference in the frequency of the some of the perversion.

Two incidences have given me hope that my character, if not my faith, have at least made an impact on my co-workers. I made a negative comment about one of the attorneys in the office and immediately apologized to the co-workers who heard it. One of them said something to the effect that they all say things even worse than that about other people so it was not big deal. But another co-worker repeated the line that I have adopted from another friend when I say something I shouldn't have said -- "Bad dog, no biscuit."

The other is when one employee was swearing and another said something to him. He made the comment that it was nothing unusual but if Josh started swearing, it might be worth noticing because Josh does not swear as often. Then it was said that if I started swearing they would look for flying pigs.

I hope that through these character differences, my co-workers will see Christ in me. Because if they do not see Christ in the followers of Christ that He puts in their lives, how will they listen when someone tells them about Him?

2009-01-13T21:55:00.003-06:00

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philipians 4:6-7 (NIV)

When I first started reading Christian fiction, I found one author whose stories I enjoyed that seemed to have a reoccurring theme that "worry is a sin." If I recall, in several of her books one character or another would remind or inform the main character of this concept in those exact words. This concept was new to me at the time. Although I've never considered myself to be a worry-wart, I still had worries and considered it natural.

Learning to turn everything over to God is a challenge that I don't always succeed at accomplishing. I worry about my kids and their future. I worry about my husband making it home from a business trip safely. Yet as I worry, I sense God's gentle reminder to turn it over to Him. When I obey this nudge, I am filled with His Peace about the situation. I can feel His guard of protection on my heart and my mind.

God Dispenses Wisdom Through Others

2009-01-12T22:08:00.003-06:00

"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all, without finding fault, and it will be given him. But wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere." James 1:5 and 3:17 (NIV)

I went to bed last night and woke up this morning with a heavy burden on my heart. I did not know what to do some information and my feelings surrounding it. Reading these verses this morning reminded me where I needed to turn for the wisdom to know what to do in this situation. But prayer alone did not seem to be the answer. The more I turned this over to God, the more I felt that I needed a close girlfriend to share my burden.

After debating with myself I decided to write to a wonderful Christian lady that I know. I spent my entire lunch hour (half hour) typing an email expressing my pain and confusion. Even before I received a response back, I felt a peace come over me that I had not had since before the whole issue came into play. Immediately I knew that the email had been the right choice. Only God can give that peace.

I value my friend's wisdom. I appreciate her gentleness, consideration and her mercy. I need her sincerity and submission to what I may not want to hear.

God Speaks...

2009-01-12T20:01:00.004-06:00

I promised this morning to post a rundown of what God has shown me so far this month in my quiet time. I admit there are a few days missing.

On Sunday, January 4, I woke-up stranded in an ice storm in Ackley, IA with my Bible and suitcase in Waverly, IA. My devotion time was prayer and Christian radio during the 3 hour drive back to Minnesota. One song in particular touched my heart on the drive home. Although I have heard the song many times and most likely sang along, I really HEARD the words of the chorus that afternoon. I believe it was the Ray Boltz version of the song "Trust His Heart" by Babbie Mason and Eddie Carswell. I could not find Ray Boltz on YouTube but I did find the song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vh65wLVbaww&feature=related The words to the chorus are as follows:

God is too wise to be mistaken.
God is too good to be unkind.
So when you don't understand,
when you don't see His plan,
When you cant trace His hand, trust His heart.

I don't always know what God's plans are in a given situation, but I know that He loves me and will help me through whatever trial comes my way.

Monday, January 5, the verse that stood out to me was Isaiah 28:12 which the English Standard Version quotes as "This is rest; give rest to the weary; this is repose." This same concept came up later in the week as I talked to a young man leaving our company to return to Bible College in Florida. We were discussing generosity and the theology that we will be rewarded for giving. When we give rest, money, love, or any other number of things to other people, we receive blessings from God. Sometimes they are the same thing that we give away -- rest or love -- but not always. If I anonymously give a single mom money to buy Christmas gifts for her kids, I do not expect God to drop money into my bank account as a result. My reward may be as simple as seeing that friend's excitement as she shops for her kids or wraps what she bought for them.

On Tuesday, January 6, God told me that the Splendor He has given me has made my beauty perfect. (Ezekiel 16:14) I do not always feel beautiful, but in God's eyes, I am and it is in His eyes that my worth is determined. On the other hand, I must take heed with the next verse and not trust in my beauty. My trust must remain in God alone.

Wednesday, January 7, I was reminded that God expects us to keep the devotion of our youth. When we first come to know Christ we are like young brides, so in love with Him. In Jeremiah 2:2 He says "I remember the devotion of your youth, how as a bride you loved me and followed me through the desert, through a land not sown." How easy it is to loose that love during the course of a marriage or our walk with God. We need to be intentional about keeping that level of devotion in both our earthly and heavenly relationships.

Thursday, January 8, I read Hebrews 13:6 where it quotes Psalm 118:6,7 "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid, What can man do to me?" I need to hide this verse in my heart to overcome the fears and worries in my life.

Friday through Sunday I did not spend the time I should have with God. Sure, I included Him in my day as always, but I did not intentionally set aside time for Him like I should.

I think I will leave today's lesson for a separate post and try to do a better job of journaling online what God shares with me during my time with Him.

Catch UP -- January 2

2009-01-12T07:18:00.005-06:00

Okay, so I said I would post daily. Ha. Actually I knew I would be gone for the first weekend in January but did expect to post again when I got back. Unfortunately, the week got ahead of me. So, here is what I wrote based on my devotional on January 2. A rundown of the rest of the week will follow later today.

January 2, 2009

I woke up this morning grumbling about how horrible I had slept. I could not get comfortable on either of my sister’s couches. I would have moved to the floor if I could figure out where on the floor I would not be in the way for Mom to get to the bathroom.

This morning’s devotional started with “Sing aloud to God our strength; shout for joy to the God of Jacob! Raise a song; sound the tambourine, the sweet lyre with the harp. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God.” (Psalm 81:1-2, 40:3 ESV) This attitude of praise in all things contradicted my initial attitude this morning.

I often sound like the Israelites grumbling in the desert when I really have no reason to grumble. I need to remind myself what Nehemiah told the people returning to Israel: “The joy of the Lord is your strength.” (Nehemiah 8:10 ESV). Whether in small things like being comfortable where I sleep, or major life crisis, I need to develop an attitude of praise in every circumstance.

Heavenly Father, I praise you for this new day that You have given me. Thank you for a place to sleep last night and for the sleep that I did get. I want to praise you in all things, to see Your blessings in each trail and triumph. Remind me, Lord, when I start to grumble of Your mercies and Your love. In Jesus’ Precious Name, Amen.

A New Begining

2009-01-01T10:50:00.002-06:00

New Year's most popular tradition is to think about and examine our lives and vow to do better in one or more areas. We all can think of many different areas that we would like to improve, to become better people. These lists tend to reveal what is important to us, but sometimes not important enough to follow through.

My devotional this morning included the verses 1 Cor 9:24,25. "24Do you not know that in a race all the runners compete, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it.25Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable." (ESV) (NIV uses crown for wreath.)

My goals for the New Year always fall short because I do not keep the goal in mind. While a long list of blog posts may keep me going, the real prize that I strive for is the eternal crown. That is the goal.

The ESV version points out that athletes need self-control in all things to reach the goal of winning the race. That is the one ingredient that seems to be lacking in my New Year's Resolutions most years. It is easy to let the circumstances of life effect our goals, to get us sidetracked.

Father, I pray that You will give me and all that read this blog the strength and encouragement to press on for the goal that You have placed before us. Help us to keep our eyes on You, even and especially in the trials of this life. Amen.

New Year's Goal

2008-12-30T22:50:00.001-06:00

In 2009 I resolve to.....
* Write more stories: enter Writing Challenge weekly, participate in the M&M's, submit for publication
* Keep up with friends and online communities
* Keep my website updated
* Be a better parent
* Be a better wife
* Improve my status at work
*Take more time for myself
* Keep my house clean
* Keep ahead of the laundry
*.Get my business off the ground
*......................

Okay, while I know that these are all great New Year's Resolutions and most of them are things I NEED to do, not only want to do, this is not my New Year's Resolution list. Why? Because it is too overwhelming and too vague. I have every intention of striving to complete each of the items on the list, only most of them are not stated as defined goals -- ones with a "have completed" mark to strive for and reach.

The list also is missing the most important New Year's Resolution, the only true resolution on my list: to grow closer to God by having a personal time with Him each day and applying to my life what He tells me during that time. Jude 24 tells us that He is "able to keep you from stumbling" (ESV). Colossians 1:22-23 say ".."He has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation -- if you continue in your faith, established and firm, not moved from the hope held out in the gospel.... It is my New Year's Resolution, my life goal, to continue to grow in my faith, so that I may be presented, without flaw, before my King, and that He may keep me from stumbling along the way.

But goals, in order to be achieved, must have visible objectives. While my long term objective is eternal, my journey will easily get sidetracked without visible, tangible, short-term milestones. So, to look at my New Year's Goal for 2009 (to grow closer to God by having a personal time with Him each day and applying to my life what He tells me during that time), one tangible milestone is to set aside time with God each day. But how do I mark whether or not I apply that to my life? I find that writing helps to bring application to what I read. Therefore, it is my goal to each day write a journal entry or blog about something that God has shown me in reading Scripture or a non-fiction Christian book. Posting these on my blog will help keep me accountable and perhaps help someone else as well.

LifeSavor!

2008-07-25T22:12:00.002-05:00

This poem was first published on Faithwriters on Jan 15, 2007.

"Your poetry has saved your life
From the pain of your childhood strife.
Suicide you may have committed,
If to this writing form you had not submitted."

I did not always understand my friend’s poems,
Her vocabulary oft as unfamiliar as Jeroboam’s.
Yet, I understood what her therapist meant,
Writing is therapy when you use it to lament.

Too many siblings for comprehension,
Didn’t leave time for personal attention.
Only one thing I could do right,
If I wrote a poem, they’d think I’m bright.

Sharing negative feelings didn’t fair well,
So on paper, my pains I learned to tell.
But if someone discovered my journal,
My life at home became infernal.

So my poem topics turned to worse
As I learned to journal in verse.
Though my message may be tragic,
They would like it, ‘cuz poetry was magic.

I made it through hard times,
By writing simple rhymes.
Mourning when my grandpa died,
A poem of memories while I cried.

I got through life with an alcoholic,
By writing poems that were symbolic,
Or straight-forward and to the point.
Whatever way my pain I could disjoint.

Eventually my poems gave way,
To a Friend who was here to stay.
By my side through think and thin,
He died on the cross because of my sin.

My pains I no longer need to hide,
Their sword also pierced His side.
My writing took a long vacation
While I learned about salvation.

Now I feel called to create,
And this call cannot wait.
Whether it a poem or story,
I need to write it for His glory.

Thanks for the Stew

2008-07-24T22:32:00.003-05:00

Knowing that my busy day was going to make it hard to get dinner on the table and still get my husband and sons to their respective places on time, I put a couple of venison roasts in the crockpot before leaving for work in the morning. When I got home that afternoon, I had less than half an hour before I needed to be out the door. I used part of that time to add carrots and potatoes to the now fully cooked venison. When I got home from running my youngest son to church camp, I thickened the stew and let it sit a few minutes until Paul got home.

My reasoning for making stew was convenience. I felt somewhat silly making stew in the middle of the summer, but I knew it was all I would have time to make. My oldest son thanked me several times last night and today for making venison stew.

This made me ponder if I take the time to really notice and be thankful for all the wonderful gifts that I am given. Do I take for granted the sunshine and rain that God sends my way? Do I fully realize how blessed my life is and take the time to thank God for those blessings?

I got tired of Gregory thanking me for making stew. Well, maybe not really tired of it, but definately thought it was a little overboard. It was, after all, only dinner. I know that God does not get tired of us thanking Him for the "little" things that He does in our lives. Will you join me in thanking Him today for EVERY blessing He sends?

My Strict Diet

2008-07-23T18:49:00.001-05:00

A writer asked a group of writers if we worked on a writing schedule, setting aside certain times when we wrote, similar to having office hours. I have tried this once or twice. It’s hard for me to do.

One writer answered, “I follow a very strict writing schedule – and then I wake up.”

This describes me in both my writing and my attempts to diet. I do a great job sticking to a writing schedule or a diet – until I wake up and stop dreaming. I know I really should stick to both, but that falls under self-discipline, an area in which I still need work.

Missing Ingredients

2008-07-22T15:22:00.003-05:00

The other day I posted that I made a strawberry custard pie. It was very yummy, even though I messed it up. As I copied over the recipe, I realized that I had forgotten to put the milk in the custard part of the pie. It still tasted like custard, but that part was very thin and heavy.

This is not the first time I have done this. The first time I made Hawaiian bread, I forgot the eggs. Like the pie, no one would have known the difference if I had not told them my mistake.

We all make mistakes that lead to better ways of doing things and new ideas. But some mistakes have consequences and are more likely to be the ones that we hide. No matter how much we try to hide them, they are not hidden. The consequences are worse when we hide the missing ingredients in our mistakes.

I have made Hawaiian bread with the eggs, although Gregory says he likes it better without. The next time I make Strawberry Custard Pie, I will remember the milk. And I will try to correct and admit the mistakes I make in life.

Crawling all the Way

2008-07-21T18:51:00.002-05:00

My son found a tidbit in a travel brochure about Hugh Glass. It seems in 1823, Glass was part of a hunting trip to the Black Hills and tangled with a mother grizzly protecting her cubs. The leader of the trip left two men in charge to do what they could and to bury him when he died. Glass woke up to find himself deserted without any weapons, left to die.

Some accounts say the Glass crawled approximately 190 miles to, Fort Kiowa, the nearest settlement on the Missouri River, north of present day Chamberlain, SD. Other accounts say he crawled 100 miles to the Cheyenne River and built a raft that he then rode to the Missouri River. Either way, he showed up at Fort Kiowa more than 2 months later.

Two lessons in this story are opposite sides of the same coin. The men left in charge of taking care of Glass when he died gave up too soon. They didn’t bury him when he died; they left him to die assuming that was the only possible outcome of his condition. Glass, on the other hand, did not give up even under the most impossible of conditions.

I tend to fall under the first category. When I don’t get things accomplished as quickly as I think I should, I decide that the task is too big, or impossible. Perhaps remembering the determination of Hugh Glass will encourage me to stay on task and finish the big job.

Creative Juices

2008-07-20T16:03:00.001-05:00

Last month my sister and nephews were in town and we ate together at Perkins. My sister had a piece of pie that sounded delicious, but I didn’t try it. I typically order a pie that I will never make myself – like French Silk or Key Lime. This pie was a strawberry pie with a layer of custard in the bottom.

Today, I decided to try making a similar pie. I found a recipe for custard pie, cut the ingredients in half and baked it in a larger pie pan than the full recipe requested. I then took my normal strawberry pie and put that on top of the custard.

I do not see myself as a creative person. My biggest hindrance to creativity seems to be coming up with original ideas. Solomon tells us in Ecclesiastes 1:9 “What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.” Perhaps I don’t need original ideas, just less common ones.

Despite my lack of creativity, I enjoy doing creative things; crafts, writing, sewing. It gives me a glimpse into God’s creativity and makes me even more in awe of all that He has created. That itself is worth the effort.

Here is the recipe I created today by combining the two recipes.

Strawberry Custard Pie

2 eggs
5 ½ Tbls sugar
1 2/3 c milk
½ tsp vanilla
¼ tsp salt
1/8 tsp nutmeg

Preheat oven to 450. Beat egg slightly. Add remaining ingredients and stir. Put pie crust in pan and place in oven. Pour mixture into pie shell. Bake 20 minutes. Poke with toothpick halfway between center and edge. If comes out clean, take out pie, if not reduce heat to 350 and cook until toothpick comes out clean.

1-2 pints strawberries, enough to fill remaining of pie shell
1 c sugar
1 c hot water
3 Tbls cornstarch
3 Tbls strawberry gelatin

Cook the sugar, hot water and cornstarch until thickened. Add gelatin. Cool and pour over strawberries in pie shell. Top with whipped cream.

Leftovers vs Tithing

2008-07-19T14:39:00.000-05:00

I use to be able to get several meals out of leftovers. I would cook a whole chicken and use the leftovers to make chicken ala king. The leftover chicken ala king would then go into chicken pot pie for yet another meal. Now when I cook a whole chicken, the leftovers get made into sandwiches and chicken melts without leaving enough for chicken ala king. When I do have enough leftover chicken to make this family favorite, the leftovers are rare and never enough for pot pie.

My attitude towards giving to God use to be the same as my attitude towards chicken for two of our favorite meals – use what is left over. As the offering plate was passed, I would look in my purse and see what was there, using that to determine if and how much I gave. Sometimes I would give $5, sometimes $20. Often, I did not have any money to give at all.

God does not ask us for leftovers. He asks for the first fruits of our labor. In 1997, I made a New Year’s Resolution to start tithing and to pay off the credit card. Paul said I couldn’t do both, where would we get the extra money to pay off the credit card if we starting “spending” more of his paycheck by tithing? I knew that I was being convicted that we needed to do this, so I stuck by my guns. In February, we received a bonus check that covered the balance on the credit card. That summer we put new carpet in the house without carrying the balance on the credit card. As Paul would say, it is amazing how much further 90% goes than 100%. God is faithful when we tithe.

Just as we now budget our tithe to come out before any other bills or expenses, I also cook chicken for the sole purpose of making chicken a la king or chicken pot pie. My family likes these meals enough to make them without leftovers. God deserves even more.

Guiding the Tour

2008-07-18T06:00:00.002-05:00

While on vacation, we toured Wind Cave National Park in South Dakota and took their 1.5 mile Fairgrounds Tour. The tour took us through some of Wind Cave’s largest rooms. As we neared the end of the tour, our guide Sam told us some last minute details and a story about exploring the cave with his dad, also a Park Ranger at Wind Cave. After explaining that we would be retracing our steps through part of the cave that we walked through at the beginning of the tour, Sam then led us to the elevator entrance of the cave.

Having been encouraged at the beginning of the tour to take the time to look at the different passageways and formations, not everyone stayed close on the way out of the cave. Most of the time, I could see the half of the group ahead of me, but not the half behind me. Directly ahead of me was my youngest son. Behind me, enjoying the view of cave was my husband.

At one point, keeping my eye on Simon, I looked back and waited until I saw Paul come up the steps. I then turned and followed Simon, who was mostly following those ahead of him fairly closely. A few minutes later, I looked up at the splendor of a cavern above me. When I turned back, I could not see Simon ahead of me. I walked forward and came to a fork in the path.

I had no idea which way the Park Ranger had taken the rest of the tour group. Did I go straight, or turn? I tried to listen, but could not hear voices from either direction. By this time, Paul had caught up to me and the rest of the group was in view behind us. I choose a path based on – well, I’m not sure why I thought it was the right path. I became the leader of twenty some people taking the wrong path.

When we do not follow our Spiritual Tour Guide, we usually take the wrong path. Not only do we make bad decisions for ourselves, but we encourage others to make bad decisions also. We may not be intentionally leading our children and friends to a path of destruction, but if we are following anything other than God and His Word, we are doing just that. When we compromise what we claim to believe and tell our children to tell whoever is on the phone that we are not there, we teach them to lie. When we tell allow them to put sports, school, or anything else above church attendance on a somewhat regular frequency, we teach them idolatry.

As we got to a part of the cave that did not look familiar at all, we heard the Park Ranger’s voice behind us. He got to the entrance and realized that not only had his designated caboose not arrived, but he was short half his tour, so he came back into the cave to find us.

Our Spiritual Tour Guide does the same thing. No matter how far away from the right path we wander, He is calling out to us. He seeks us out and guides us back on the right path. We only have to listen, to turn back to Him.

I am no tour guide that could get one safely out of Wind Cave or any other cave for that matter. But I am, qualified or not, a tour guide for my children and others who witness my life. It is my goal to guide them towards Christ, not away from Him.

RECALL NOTICE

2008-07-17T06:00:00.001-05:00

I recieved this email today from my sister. I usually do not forward emails but this one is worth it. I have no idea who the original author is or I would gladly give them credit.

RECALL NOTICE ?

The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.

This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed "Subsequential Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known as SIN, as it is primarily expressed.

Some other symptoms include:

1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this SIN defect. The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered
to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.

The number to call for repair in all areas is P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure.

Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:

1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control

Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth), for further details on the use of these fixes.

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too
numerous to list and will result in the human unit being
permanently impounded.

DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will need to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility.

Thank you for your attention!

Signed,
GOD

Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by "kneemail."

"For with God, nothing shall be impossible" Luke 1:37
"Obstacles are the things we see when we take our eyes off our goals".
Zig Zigler

2008-07-16T01:08:00.005-05:00

We had a great vacation in the Black Hills, leaving Friday and returning Monday. The boys were motivated to get back home on Monday to go to a birthday party that night. Simon was excited to collect four Junior Ranger pins from the National Park system. The boys got these by filling out workbooks regarding information gleaned at each of the sites. They got one for the Badlands on Friday, Devil's Tower on Saturday and Wind Cave and Mt Rushmore on Sunday.

For me, one highlight of the trip was seeing bison so close I was tempted to roll up my window. Here are a few pictures of the herd that caused traffic to stop from both directions.

SPAM

2008-07-15T06:00:00.002-05:00

My oldest son likes SPAM. I do not understand his fascination with the canned meat product, but being the good mother that I am (HA!), I do occasionally buy it for him and even took him to the SPAM museum in Austin, MN last summer.

SPAM actually got its name when an employee suggested it at a company party. It is shortened for SPiced hAM. Those of us who do not like the product often have other names for it. My favorite is “Something Posing As Meat.” SPAM reminds me too much of the canned ham product that my parents would get when we were kids. It tastes nothing like ham, but it provided an affordable meal for the family that was different than the hamburgers we eat 300 days a year in the family truck stop. Somewhere in the canned ham and in the SPAM, there is actual ham, but it is hard to tell that by the taste. In actuality, SPAM is not something posing as meat, but meat posing as something, though we are not sure what.

Sometimes I wonder if my life is the same way. Is it obvious in my life that I am a Christian? When others see me, can they see the fruit of my Christianity, or do they see just another product of the world? Have I lost the flavor of what it means to be a follower in Christ in this world?

The SPAM museum in Austin is a great tribute to what SPAM is and its place in history. Despite my opinion of the product, it has a very interesting and important history in our nation. Many families during WWII were able to obtain and afford meat because they ate SPAM. Many soldiers of the same time period learned to appreciate the convenience of SPAM while in the field and asked Hormel to not stop making it when they pulled it off the market after the war.

My history and importance as a Christian is no less remarkable. It is my desire to live that legacy out loud so that the world may know what Christ has done for me.

Blueberry Applesauce

2008-07-14T06:00:00.001-05:00

When my oldest was a baby I babysat before and after school for a family with a kindergartner and a second grader. The kindergartner, Blair, went to school only in the morning and I would have him all afternoon.

At that point in his life, my son was still eating babyfood and his favorite fruit was the blueberry apples. Blair tried them and would have eaten a whole jar if I had let him. I decided that sometime I would make blueberry applesauce and see if the kids liked it as well as they did the blueberry apples baby food. Now whenever I ask the kids to get some applesauce out of the freezer, they usually choose the blueberry applesauce first.

Blueberry Applesauce

4 quarts apples, cored and peeled
8 oz fresh blueberries
3 c water
3 c brown sugar
1 1/2 tsp cinnamon
3/4 tsp nutmeg

Heat apples, blueberries and water to boil. Reduce heat. Simmer uncovered, stirring occassionally to break up apples, until tender. (5-10 minutes). Stir in remaining ingredients. Heat to boil. Boil and stir 1 minute. Let sit until cool enough to put into 1 quart freezer bags. Makes approx. 3 quart.

Garlic Herb Bread

2008-07-13T06:00:00.001-05:00

I have noticed when attending Pampered Chef parties, it is easy to tell who likes to cook with garlic and who does not. As the consultant passes around the garlic press after using it, most women will either smell the press with delight, or turn their nose and pass it quickly. I am one who smells the wonderful (IMO) aroma of the garlic press. My oldest son will stop at in the produce section of a grocery store to smell the garlic.

One of our favorite uses is in making garlic cheese bread. I have a wonderful recipe that I use that I adopted from a jar of Italian seasoning (I added garlic to the suggested recipe.) Since my kids really liked this garlic bread, I decided to try something new. I looked at and tried two different Italian bread recipes -- one for the bread machine and one for my KitchenAid mixer. I then took what I liked about both recipes and combined them and added the ingredients that I would normally put on top to make garlic cheese bread. Here is my recipe for Garlic Cheese Bread. You should be able to do this in the bread machine, but I prefer to use the dough only option and bake all my breads in the oven. Therefore, I choose to use write the directions for the KitchenAid.

Garlic Cheese Bread

10 oz warm water (105-115 degrees)
2 tsp yeast
1 1/2 tsp salt
2 Tbls olive oil
2 tsp sugar
1 tsp Italian seasoning
1 Tbls garlic
1/2 cup shredded cheese (I usually use Cheddar or Coby Jack)
4 c flour
1/4 c Parmesan Cheese

Dissolve yeast in water. Dust bread pan or cooking stone with cornmeal. Put all ingredients in KitchenAid mixer with dough hook. Mix until form into ball and sides of bowl are clean. Shape into pan or on stone. Let rise 1 hour. Bake at 425 until light brown (about 30-45 min).

Spread butter onoutide of loaf while still warm, if desired. Enjoy.

Hide the Egg!

2008-07-12T18:00:00.001-05:00

The following was the first ever entry I submitted to Faithwriter's Weekly Challenge. It placed in the top 40 (I think it was 37th) for all of the entries that week. It was first published on Faithwriters, as a Challenge entry, on Jan 7, 2007.

Hide the Egg!

“Okay, Gregory, hide the egg!” I’d discovered a way to get actual help from my preschoolers when making cookies. Hiding each ingredient meant stirring effectively until you could no longer find the egg, four, etc in the dough. The egg was never hidden by simply scrapping the top with the spoon. Yet this was no ordinary game of hide-and-go-seek. We could never again find the egg and take it out of the cookies. It was now part of the cookie dough, chemically changing it.

When I first started baking as a teenager, I made cookies once without one of the major ingredients. They came out flat, both in looks and in taste. The same is true with our Christian walk. If we neglect Bible Study, or prayer, or fellowship with other believers, our lives become flat. We do not live the type of witness that attracts our non-Christian friends and co-workers to Christ.

Psalm 119:11 says, “I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.”(NIV) Just as the kids needed to work at hiding the egg in the cookie dough, we need to be intentional about hiding His Word in our hearts. James warns, “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.” (James 1:22 NIV) We cannot simply let the spoon of God’s Word touch our ears without allowing it to stir our hearts, to change our lives. We are called to let His Word penetrate our lives so much that the world cannot separate us from the Gospel of Christ.

As I look to the New Year, I ask myself how intentional have I been at hiding His Word in my heart? How well have I allowed His Word to become part of who I am? When others look at me, do they see the old, sin-nature self, or do they see the new creation that I became in Christ Jesus? (“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” 2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV) It is my New Year’s Prayer and resolution that, with the help of the Holy Spirit, I will be disciplined in becoming more like Christ, that others will see Him when they look at me.

Vacation

2008-07-11T06:00:00.001-05:00

We are leaving to go out of town for the weekend. We will be in the Black Hills of South Dakota at the “hunting lodge” owned by a group from our church in Sioux Falls. Whenever we go on a trip even for a weekend, I make a list of things to bring. We need sleeping bags, clothes, food, bug spray, sunscreen, etc for our trip. But it always seems that, even with a list, we get partway down the road, or to our destination, and realize that we forgot something important. Our last camping trip, I forgot to pack pillows – for everyone. I had such a stiff neck afterwards that I could not turn my head far enough to the side to align it with my shoulder.

When I go on trips, I usually remember to bring my Bible. Unfortunately, I sometimes put my Bible reading on vacation as well. As my routine is interrupted by a change of location and schedule, I put off or forget to do my quiet time.

At other times, I find myself sitting in the quiet of a select location in God’s beautiful creation and spending more time with Him than I would at home. This is the type of vacation I want for this weekend. Not to leave the Spiritual Disciplines unpacked and at home, but to pack them into the time I have away.

Pease Pudding

2008-07-10T08:29:00.003-05:00

Pease Pudding Hot
Pease Pudding Cold
Pease Pudding in the pot
Nine days old.

Some like it hot.
Some like it cold.
Some like it in the pot
Nice days old.

Most of us recognize this nursery rhyme as being "Pease Porridge Hot" rather than Pease Pudding. When I took my son to a historic site yesterday, one of the workers was making Pease Pudding and explained that the song originally said pease pudding. Doing a google search, I learned that it isn't actually a pudding or a porridge, but a sauce that they changed the name to pudding for the alliteration of the rhyme. So, in essence, the name of this dish has been changed at least twice for this rhyme.

It is not uncommon to provoke poetic license when writing lyrics to a song. Nor it is uncommon to change the lyrics of a song. Sometimes this is done for fun and drastically changes the meaning of the song by changing most of the words, othertimes, as in "pudding" and "porridge" it is only one word.

One thing that my family sometimes does is to sing one song to the tune of another. I use to be able to sign the words to "Amazing Grace" to the tune of "Gilligan's Island." When he was 3, my oldest asked us how to say the alphabet backwards. We practiced our "ZYX's" until we could sign them to him -- using the ABC's tune. We sing the alphabet, without the "L" to the tune of the verse for "The First Noel". To the chorus of the song, we sing "Nooo L, No L, Nooo L, No L, The alphabet with Nooooooo L."

I have never tried Pease Pudding, or Pease Porridge. I can't imagine anything sitting in a pot for 9 days and still eating it, but I did enjoy the history lesson on the song and thinking about how I contribute to the changing of popular lyrics.

Fast Food Ministry

2008-07-09T06:00:00.002-05:00

When my sister-in-law offered me some McDonald French fries, my son told her that I did not like McDonald’s; that my favorite thing on their menu was probably the pop (which I think all tastes the same because of their ice.) I do occasionally eat fast food when I am out running errands or when I am traveling, but only as a convenience. Lack of planning can cause a sacrifice of taste as well as the money to buy fast food.

Lack of planning can also cause sacrifices to the ministries in which God has entrusted to us. I mentioned in Saturday’s blog (Spiritual Indigestion) that while working overnights I would prepare the lesson for Wednesday night church on Wednesday afternoons. This fast food ministry was never as effective as if I had spent time to really plan the lessons. An effective ministry preparation would have included much more time in prayer, planning and looking over the material throughout the week, and not running to Wal-Mart that afternoon hoping to find the materials needed for the craft or game I found for the end of the lesson.

Fast food ministry not only sacrifices the sanity of the worker, it sacrifices the quality of the lesson for both the ministry worker and the recipients. Because I was not spending the ideal amount of time in preparation for the class, I did not allow God to work on me through the lesson. I did not spend the time in prayer necessary to seek God’s guidance, to allow Him to teach me how I personally needed to apply the lessons to my own life. Furthermore, I did not spend time in prayer for the children that I would be teaching, asking God to use me in their lives.

A member of my Cluster (small group)once asked how we know when the ministry work we are doing is for God or to satisfy our own pride. The answer given was that when we pray about the ministry, God will use it for His purpose; it is His ministry through us. When we don’t turn it over to Him, it becomes our ministry and is ineffective.

Just like eating at McDonald’s, our schedules may cause fast food ministry to be unavoidable at times. But whether McDonald’s or ministry, it is not a healthy lifestyle to rely on fast food.

Menu Planning

2008-07-08T17:14:00.001-05:00

At one time I was diligent about creating and sticking to a monthly. I would inventory my freezer at the end of the month and create a menu based on what meat I had on hand. I would then purchase whatever meat was on sale to use the next month.

Paul has often encouraged me to reinstate this practice because not only did I try to add a new recipe at least once a month, I was also able to spot and avoid any redundancies in the menu. When planning a whole month, or even a week at a time, I was much more careful not to have the same kind of meat too often, to vary the marinades I used on the meat, and to throw in fish or seafood more often. In short, I avoided cooking ruts.

Sometimes a planned menu of Spiritual disciplines can have the opposite effect. If I tell myself that I will follow a certain Bible reading plan, I am more likely to say that I have to get through this many verses or chapters to be done with my quiet time for the day.

I find that my attitude towards my quiet time is the best indicator to whether or not I am falling into a Spiritual rut. If I assess what needs to be read and sit down to read it so that I do not get behind or to catch up to where I should be, I open myself to Satan telling me that I am wasting my time, that I really want to be doing something else. On the other hand, when I ask God to guide me through the reading, I leave room for the Holy Spirit to teach me. My attitude is that of wanting to learn what God has for me, to apply His Word to my life. The “assigned” daily reading often seems too short when my spirit is in tune to the Holy Spirit while reading Scripture.

I am not discouraging a Bible reading plan. I find them helpful and sometimes necessary. But just like a menu planned a month in advance needs to be flexible enough to accommodate schedule changes, we must view a Bible reading plan as a tool, rather than a “set in stone” to-do list.

Balanced Diet

2008-07-07T08:00:00.001-05:00

My husband often has to remind me to eat a balanced diet. I do eat fruits and veggies but not as much as I should. I prefer my starches and will take seconds on potatoes before I will on veggies. It is not that I do not like fruits and veggies, I just prefer potatoes. I know that I need a balanced diet, but that does not always mean that I eat a balanced diet.

Sometimes my spiritual diet is heavy in one food group and short in another. Knowing that I need a spiritual diet of God's Word, prayer, worship and teaching does not always mean that I balance these things in my life. I may worship as I listen to the radio during the day, but not turn to God in prayer through whatever comes my way. Or I may turn to God in prayer several times a day without ever opening His Word to see what He has to say to me that day, or on a particular matter that concerns me.

Just as eating an unbalanced diet of food does not always have immediate consequences, an unbalanced spiritual life also has hidden symptoms. If I am reading God's Word, but not praying, my quiet time becomes monotonous and legalistic. If I spend time praying without worshipping or reading my Bible, my prayers become empty requests, demands on God.

I want to eat a balanced diet, both physically and spiritually. In order to do this, I must regularly watch and evaluate my habits.

Oven mits to the rescue

2008-07-06T22:59:00.003-05:00

I asked my boys the other day to unload the dishwasher as we needed dishes from it to set the table for lunch. They decided that it was too early to empty that particular load. While I took the silverware we needed out with my bare hands, they used oven mits to unload the remainder of the dishwasher.

Schedule Indigestion

2008-07-05T06:00:00.000-05:00

Recently my husband tried something new when feeding his bearded dragon. Bob really likes strawberries and always picks them out of his salad first, but he also needs insects. Bob seems to really enjoy eating crickets, but he still seemed to be hungry. Paul decided to try giving him superworms. Bob devoured them – six or seven of them. He then spent the rest of the day laying flat over the heat mat on the warm end of his tank. He was not his normal, curious self. He didn’t climb his logs to sleep in a position that looks totally uncomfortable to us, but seems to be Bob’s favorite bed. He just laid there.

Paul did some research and learned that a dragon that eats too much can get what is called Terminal Indigestion in which they lay with their hind legs extended behind them, becoming paralyzed from not being able to digest the amount of food they have eaten. Paul began to worry about his beloved pet he has had only a short time.

Many of us have had occasions where we eat too much and feel that we are unable to move. Especially at holiday feasts and pot-luck picnics. We enjoy our good food and don’t pay attention to when we need to stop.

Sometimes our schedules can be the same way. We run the kids to school and sports events, volunteer for worthy causes, maintain our social life and still try to spend quality time with our families and work to support them. Sometimes this cycle can be hard to break. When I first started working overnights, I found it hard to continue all the activities I had done as a stay-at-home mom for 6 years. I attended MOPS and BSF and took my kids to storytime at the local library, but we no longer attended the community center playgroup. Eventually we had to drop other activities.

My schedule developed its own form of “terminal indigestion” and could not digest all that I had committed it to. My participation in PTA and other activities became sporadic, rendering me useless to the cause. I did not spend the ideal amount of time on my BSF lessons, short-circuiting my learning and my time with God. I often prepared on Wednesday afternoon the lesson I was teaching to the kids at church that night. When given the chance, I crashed for 12 hours straight on my nights off.

Bob did not eat too many superworms and develop Terminal Indigestion. He was just using the heating pad to help digest them. Healthy Bearded Dragons do sometimes lay in the same position as when one has Terminal Indigestion, and that is what Bob was doing. Paul is careful to not feed his dragon so many superworms at a time. And I try to keep my schedule clear of too many things. But sometimes, I still feel a little indigestion in my schedule.

July 4 Picnic

2008-07-04T00:36:00.001-05:00

Happy Birthday, America!

We will watch some fireworks with my Mother-in-law and one of Paul's sisters and her family. Tomorrow is our big gathering for a family picnic. This picnic will include not only my husband's mom and siblings, but also his aunts and uncle and cousins, possibly even some of his mom's cousins.

I grew up with a few annual family reunions for the various brances of the family tree, but for the most part, that was the only time I saw my relatives beyond my first cousins. I grew up not really knowing my relatives beyond my grandparents, aunts, uncles and first cousins. My kids see their second cousins at least six times a year for family picnics and holidy dinners.

So, the question remains, what to bring to the family picnic. I had thought about doing a watermelon salad inside the watermelon, but Paul's cousin volunteered to bring fruit. I might still bring it as there will be several people there. The farmer's market in town has a booth that sells a pineapple salsa that makes a really good dip for tortilla chips, so I am thinking I will take that and also some regular Con Queso dip for the less adventurous. Of course, the desserts are what are snacked on the most, so we will have to take some kind of bars and maybe some puppy chow.

The picnic is set up as a "Bring your own meat" with shared side dishes, desserts, and drinks. Mom and Paul's aunts are in charge of the charcoal, condiments and buns. One year, they bought a lot of buns and everyone brought something different that didn't need buns -- venison steaks, chicken, etc. Haven't decided yet what we are taking for meat. I should obey the email and take burgers, brats or hot dogs, but will probably take venison.

Have a good Fourth, everyone.

Spiritual Pumpkin Pie

2008-07-03T07:00:00.003-05:00

When my husband first went to Thanksgiving Dinner with my family, he was looking forward to the pumpkin pie. After a few bites, he looked at me and said, “This is not your pumpkin pie.” He had assumed that my recipe was a family tradition passed down from generation to generation. Instead, the recipe I used was one that I had altered to my own taste.

The first time I made a pumpkin pie, I used the recipe on the can of pumpkin. It turned out okay, but it tasted bland. Then next several pies I made were progressively better, changing to fresh pumpkin rather than canned. Each time I would alter some part of the recipe, usually the spices, until the pie tasted just the way I liked it. I may be biased, but I still have not found a pumpkin pie recipe I like better.

It is not uncommon for cooks to change a recipe, especially when they need to substitute for a missing ingredient. Sometimes we do it by mistake. One year I was making divinity at my in-law’s house and instead of grabbing the vanilla, I put in vinegar. I know it sounds awful, but it actually turned out. Even though they still tease me about it, my brother-in-law told me a few years later that it was some of the best divinity he had ever tasted.

Many of the recipe alterations and recipes that I have tried to create turn out to be total failures. Breakfast sausage is not a good choice in stir fry, and almond butter does not make a good substitution in peanut butter cookies. Especially in baking, a substituted ingredient may alter the chemistry of the finished product.

This warning also applies to our spiritual life. While there are a lot of great Christian authors and theologians, there is no substitute for the Word of God. It is easy to fall under the trap of thinking that since we are reading this great book from a well-known theologian, or attending a church taught by a well-grounded, Bible-based preacher, we are safe from deception by the Enemy. This is itself, a deception.

Many of us know of people who have fallen prey to the Enemy's deception, whether cults or simply misguided teaching. I once knew a guy who had justified illegal behavior because he was “washed by the Blood and sanctified by the Stripes of Jesus.” Basically, he believed in “cheap grace;” that he could do anything he wanted because he was forgiven by Christ’s sacrifice. This man was deceived by substituting false teachings for the Truth taught in the Bible.

I ended yesterday’s blog with a Bible verse that also applies here: "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."(2 Tim 3:16-17) As we read the words put to paper or computer screen by well-intended authors, we must ask ourselves if what we read is consistent with the Word of God. The only way to answer this is to read the Word of God, asking for the Holy Spirit to teach and guide us each time we open our Bibles.

The Word of God needs to remain the main course in our Spiritual diet, but Christian books, music, and other material can be great side dishes. We must never alter the recipe of God’s Word by substituting these side dishes for the real thing.

Scripture Cake

2008-07-02T07:00:00.001-05:00

I use to have a cake recipe that listed the ingredients in terms of Bible references. The recipe might have listed “2 of Job 39:14” instead of asking for 2 eggs, with the entire recipe written like this. While it was fun to look up the verses to determine what the ingredients were, we threw away the recipe as well as the cake.

I always thought it would be fun to write other recipes using Scripture verses, but never really tried to do it. In the long run, it was a lot more work to make the cake than if it had been written like a regular recipe, and some of the references were vague. So what, then, would be the advantage of writing a recipe in Bible verses?

I think that if I were to write such a recipe the only purpose would be to boost my own pride. It may give me an attitude of accomplishment for something done in my own power: proof that I knew enough Scripture, or at least how to find enough Scripture, to complete such a task. But a prideful heart does not serve God’s kingdom, even if the task does use the Bible.

There have been many times when my pride has hindered my ability to be used by God, whether in an organized ministry or an everyday opportunity. I must constantly remind myself that all ministry is ineffective if I don’t first turn it over to God. He has called me to plant seeds and to water them, not to make them grow. (“I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow.” 1 Cor. 3:6). Sometimes, He may ask me to be present at the Harvest, but when that happens, it is not my doing, but His.

Is it wrong to use Bible verses in a recipe? I do not think so. I do have another recipe that includes Bible verses in the instructions, but they are used to tell the Easter story. I have used this recipe to teach my children. This is a much better application of Scripture in a recipe.

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. (2 Tim 3:16-17)

Dietary Restrictions -- Freedom

2008-07-01T07:00:00.001-05:00

My husband and I recently had the privilege of inviting some friends over for dinner. The challenge created by this invitation meant that I needed to prepare a meal for dietary restrictions that I am not accustomed to accommodating. I bought organic fruit, organic butter, organic milk and organic flour to prepare this meal. I left all marinades off of the wild game we served for meat. My friend once told me of the health improvements her husband's doctor noticed when their marriage changed his eating habits.

I have other friends that have willingly chosen to change to their diet to include only foods available and acceptable in Biblical culture. They noticed a decrease in the symptoms of allergies and other signs of increased health.

As I think about the food restrictions that God gave in the Bible I can't help but apply the "scientific discoveries" of our day. Perhaps the most well-known of the dietary restrictions still followed by Orthodox Jews is that they are not allowed to eat pork. Today, we all know that pork has to be cooked thoroughly to kill micro-organisms that can make us sick. Ancient people would not have had this knowledge through science, so God guided them by giving them the restriction.

Just like the dietary restrictions, God's laws are always meant to protect us, rather than to limit us. One friend once shared how she fought becoming a Christian because it meant that she would have to give up all her freedom. She equated Christianity with a list of "Thou shall nots". When she surrendered her life to Christ, she found true freedom. Sometimes the freedoms we fear loosing are actually the bondage we need freedom from.

What we see as a restriction, God sees as a protection. What parent hasn't fought with their stubborn child over discipline issues? We long to protect our children from harm, even if they do not understand. I have often told my sons that I love them too much to let them get away with the behavior for which they are being disciplined. Knowing that God's laws are designed to protect us empowers us to obey them with an attitude of graditude rather than legalistic obligation. This is the heart of God when He gives us His Law: not to restrict so much as to instruct.

Will I be switching my eating habits to include only organic foods or to drink only goat's milk? No, even though the fruit did have more flavor. I don't think that I can handle that drastic of a change, at least not all at once. (And I don't like goat's milk anyway.) But I don't think it would hurt to make a few changes in my diet, and especially in my spiritual diet.

NaBloPoMo -- incentive to blog

2008-06-30T15:19:00.002-05:00

To remedy the fact that I have not been consistant in updating this blog (no, I haven't forgotten about it completely) I am trying something new. NaBloPoMo stands for National Blog Posting Month. Each month they give the challenge to post everyday that month, with a suggested topic as a guideline for those of us who put off blogging for lack of something to say. While I will try to keep the blogs consistant with the theme of the blog (A Servant's Heart), most of my posts in July will be on the topic of Food, since that is NaBloPoMo's theme for the month.

I will see how this challenge goes. Perhaps I will need to do it several months before I actually accomplish the goal. My purpose for doing this is use my blog as one tool to set aside a certain amount of time each day to write. I am writing for Associated Content where I get paid per page view as well as sometimes an upfront payment. I also have a large project that I would like to complete that I need to get started on. Getting in the habit of writing each day will help on both of these projects.

I believe that God can and will use my writing if I am obedient in using and developing the talent He has given me as well as in what I write. I hope you will join me on my new adventure of actually updating this blog on a regular basis.

My Anger Journal

2008-04-10T14:45:00.001-05:00

I was recently given the assignment to write down what makes me angry, every time I get angry. Even if it was a petty as “you coughed through the entire meeting”, I was to write it down. I obliged and did the assignment for a month. I do not see myself as an angry person, yet I found plenty of entries in my “anger journal.”

Obviously there was a reason behind this assignment. I do not yet know the exact reason I was assigned this task, but there are some things that I learned from doing it.

First, I learned that most of my anger is an expression of other feelings. I get angry when I feel rejected, ignored or excluded. I get angry when I am not heard on whatever issue is being discussed, or when I feel that someone has taken advantage of me.

Another thing that I learned was that most of the time when I get mad, the other person has no idea that I feel that way. There was no intention for harm or mistreatment on their part. This is not news to me, I would have told that to someone else who was somehow offended, but the list made it obvious in my own incidences with anger.

As I look over the list of what made me angry during that month, I see two distinct attitudes appear within myself. The healthy attitude is the one that says, “learn and move on.” In many cases, I look at an entry and think, “Yeah, I can see why I felt that way, but that happened in February.” I now know why that incident made me mad, but it no longer affects me.

The other attitude is much more damaging. Reading the list serves as a reminder in the areas that I have not yet forgiven the offense. “That’s right, so-and-so did that to me.” This is where the list becomes either very dangerous or most helpful. Do I choose to hold onto the offense of whatever caused me to get angry, or do I use that anger to turn to God to help me forgive the offender? My nature is to hold onto the offense, to feel that I am entitled to be angry. After all, that is what the whole paragraph about other feels suggests; I am entitled to be angry because I felt rejected or ignored ...or...or....or...

But the Bible tells me that I am to forgive. “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive you sins.” (Matt 6:14-15) That is the real value in doing an assignment like this; to point out to me where God is working in my life to get rid of unforgiveness so that I can become more like Him.

Spiritual Myopia

2008-02-20T23:54:00.004-06:00

A few Christmases ago I received a book with no words, only pictures. Each picture was beautiful by itself. When you turn to the next picture, you realize that the picture doesn’t stand alone, but is part of the picture on the next page. Through the pages you progress from a roster comb to a beach scene to a postage stamp to the earth and outer space. Yet it is easy to see each picture as independent.

Our lives can be much the same way, leaving us with a Spiritual Myopia, or nearsightedness. When we keep our focus on ourselves, we see our lives as the whole picture instead as only part of God’s greater plan, or even as a small part of our family or national history.

I lately have let the pain of a personal situation be the focus of most of my energy. My daily thoughts have been on how this situation has hurt me. My Spiritual Myopia allowed me to live for several months in a pity party. In the process, I have hindered the relationship most important to me. I have pushed away the one person I most desperately want to be close to, harvesting bitterness and unforgiveness in my heart.

Last fall, I wrote a fictional story based loosely on this situation. A very dear friend asked how I found the strength to do that so soon after the incident. My response was that God will use what happened in my life to help others. That response reflected an attitude of allowing myself to be a postage-stamp-sized picture in the greater picture of God’s plan.

When I take my eyes off of myself and look at the situation more objectively, I realize that the offending incident was not the cause of trouble, but a symptom of it – a wake-up call. Without my Spiritual Myopia, healing can begin in a relationship that was already strained.

So, how do we cure or prevent Spiritual Myopia? The cure and prevention is keeping our focus on God. Being in the Word daily and praying continuously are the main medicines for this condition. As I do the spiritual disciplines regularly, the eyes of my heart look at a much bigger picture than just me. I start to see my life as a small part of God’s bigger picture.

Note re: "Fear Factor": I am learning to touch the crickets -- as long as they are safely in the gecko's viv and cannot jump out. I have learned that my greatest fear is them getting loose in my house.

Am I Consistent?

2008-01-22T20:49:00.000-06:00

I recently was involved in an online discussion about some of the false teachings that are seeping into our churches today. I honestly believe that God moved us from Minnesota to Ohio 12 years ago to get us out of a mega-church and into a small church where we could grow. We are living in a mega-church society. Many churches focus more on numbers than on honest conversions, some at the expense of the Gospel. What good does it do to gain the whole city for our church if their souls are still lost?

On Wednesday nights our church is doing The Truth Project put out by Focus on the Family. It is taught by Dr. Del Tackett and deals with society's worldview vs. a Biblical worldview. He quotes a study that says only 9% of Christians have a Biblical worldview even though most would say they do. It is no wonder that many of our churches are watering down the Gospel to draw in more numbers if our worldview is no different than that of the world.

So I ask myself, am I really one of the 9% or am I deceiving myself? I know that there are differences in how I live my life than how my average neighbor lives theirs, but do I really believe differently? As Dr. Tackett asks in the first lesson, “Do I really believe that what I believe is really real?”

Last week’s video had an illustration that for me, was very convicting. Dr. Tackett works with men who struggle with pornography. Most of them tell him that their biggest struggle is when their wife and kids are gone, leaving them alone. Dr. Tackett asks them if they believe in the omnipresence of God. He then points out that their statement that they believe God is omnipresent contradicts their statement that they struggle most when they are alone. If God is omnipresent, then we are never alone.

This made me evaluate what areas of my life I live inconsistent with what I say I believe. Over the last year, even before hearing this illustration, I often needed to remind myself that God hears my every thought. If I truly believe this, it is easier to take every thought captive, but I needed to start consciously reminding myself that He hears every thought before I could take them captive.

I’m sure that are other areas of my life that are not 100% consistent with what I believe. I pray that God will show these areas to me. I look forward to seeing what else I learn during this study.

Fear Factor

2008-01-12T23:18:00.000-06:00

For Christmas I got two pets, Naomi and Simone. They are leopard geckos and insectivores. I have no problem picking up the lizards, or even the mealworms and wax worms they eat. But their main source of food is crickets and I cannot yet get myself to pick up a cricket. Instead I shake the crickets out of the jar into a Ziploc bag with vitamin or calcium supplement in it to dust them, and then let them crawl out of the bag into the lizards’ cage.

Okay, I know that the crickets are harmless. There is no way the cricket can hurt me. I’ve even eaten them before myself (already dead and covered in chocolate at a Cub Scout “Fear Factor” event), so why am I afraid to touch the crickets with my hands? When one got loose I picked it up before it could get away, so why not just do it when I feed Naomi and Simone?

My fear of touching the crickets is irrational. There is no basis for it; it is not even an overt fear. It simply is. And it is not the only irrational fear I have.

Four years ago, my son caught a garter snake in the yard and my husband told him he could keep it if he took care of it. We figured it would die the first winter. It didn’t and he still has it. I do not like the snake. When he takes the snake out of its cage, I stay in a different room if possible. I know that Bendy does not bite and he could not hurt me if he did. But I still do my best to avoid it. Over the last four years, I have had several nightmares about snakes. Yet, I know that a garter snake is harmless.

There are other fears in my life. Some have a rational and other don’t. Just as my fear of the crickets affects how I feed my geckos, most of these fears govern some area of my life. Most of the time, the effect is more significant than controlling the movement of an insect. My fear of failure prevents me from trying new things. My fear of rejection limits how easily I let someone get to know me.

Yet God tells us not to fear. It was the angels’ words whenever they appear; to Mary, to Joseph, to the shepherds. God told Joshua seven times to “Be strong and courageous” (Deut 31:6, 7, 23; Joshua 1:6, 7, 9, 18) In Romans 8:15, Paul reminds us that we “did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, ‘Abba, Father.’”

They say in recovery circles that the first step to recovery is admitting the problem. If I admit that my actions are motivated by fear and that God says not to fear because He is with me, this is the first step to not letting my fears govern my actions. Rejection by other people seems less important when I focus on God’s acceptance of me. Remembering that God will not let me fail at doing what is in His Will for my life helps me to step out in faith to do new things. I’ll let you know when I reach my hand in the cricket jar to feed Naomi and Simone.

A Prejudice Against Pride

2008-01-10T23:26:00.001-06:00

I tend to be a very prideful person. It comes from being a descendant of Adam and Eve. I do not always let that pride show in my actions and attitudes, but it is there. It is there when I decide that I am going to eat the extra snack that I know I shouldn’t eat. It is there when I decide that I am going to take that last box of whatever off the grocery store shelf even though it is obvious that someone else is shopping for the same item. It is there when I decide that I am going to spend an hour reading instead of doing housework. And most assuredly, it is there when I decide to ignore God.

Oh, I often convince myself that I am not choosing to ignore God, I simply do so unintentionally. Yet, I am still ignoring Him and that is a choice. A choice motivated by pride. One of the many places that God warns us about pride comes from a teenage girl blessed beyond her wildest imagination and still humble in her reaction.

“His mercy extends to those who fear Him,
from generation to generation.
He has performed mighty deeds with his arm;
He has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.
He has brought down rulers from their thrones,
but has lifted up the humble.” (Luke 1:50-52 NIV)

These words were part of the celebration that Mary had with her relative Elizabeth after learning that she would be the mother of God’s Son. She had been chosen because of her humility, and her humility stayed in tact throughout the ordeal. Mary does not point out that God has lifted up the humble as a way of false humility, but as praise to God for what He has done for her and was doing in her. Through humility, God extended His mercy towards her.

The most convicting part of Mary’s song is the reminder that God knows when we are proud in our inmost thoughts. See, that is often the only place that my pride can be seen. But it is still there. That is what false pride is – our inner-most thoughts of pride surfacing as humility.
It is my desire and my goal this year to seek God in all that I do, to eliminate pride in my innermost thoughts by focusing on God and not on myself. This blog will show my heart. A heart that hopefully will become more and more pure as I become more and more like my Savior.